Six tips for you if you’re feeling broken, hopeless or overwhelmed on your way to baby.
For many of us the trying to conceive is not as quick and easy as we had expected (or hoped) … In fact, the struggle to conceive can become isolating, lonely and physically and emotionally exhausting and what’s worse, it can leave you wracked with guilt, self-doubt and jealousy. As each cycle goes by, the wait can become harder and your courage and energy to carry on trying can begin to wane. Faith and blind hope isn’t enough to keep your ‘fertility resilience’ strong, but there are some excellent tools and strategies to help boost your resilience and keep you on track to your own healthy pregnancy and baby news.. I’d like to share a few that have helped many of the amazing couples I’ve worked with on their way to baby, I hope they might help you too.
6 tips for Coping with the Stress of Infertility
1. Let yourself feel all the grief and despair... Allow yourself to cry and hide away from all the pregnant bellies and women with newborns. BUT, set yourself a time limit to do this, day 1 and 2 of your period is often enough. More than this and you can become focused on the negatives and lose your energy worrying about the what-ifs. Then pick yourself up, dust off and get focused on the future. 2. Lean in to your support Its so important to share your feelings and struggles. Choose the people who really ‘get it’. You might find your support network online in a private facebook group, or a forum or it might be a bestie, your partner or a family member. Holding all of this inside is a sure way to make the journey more isolating, lonely and exhausting. 3. Avoid putting your life on hold. Keep booking your vacations, it costs a little more to make your booking refundable or changeable but the cost of not booking at all is much greater. So many women I work with stay in jobs they hate, that cause enormous stress and fatigue to ensure they can claim maternity benefits. The trouble is, the stress and exhaustion associated with some jobs is a big part of the fertility struggle. Keep applying for better jobs or add a unit of study to change careers, it could make all the difference. 4. Fill your cup Trying to conceive can become all-consuming. This tends to increase the pressure you put on yourself to achieve your positive pregnancy test. Make a list of the things that make you happy, that keep your heart full and be sure to keep these things in your life every week. Create your Joy List and make these things a high priority- here are some examples to get you started – fostering fur babies, charity work, hobbies, keeping fit, time in nature, girl’s nights, bubble baths, learning something new …. 5. Create Your Fertility Team Find the support you need to create clarity in your fertility journey. You’ll feel more empowered if you have a deeper understanding of your fertility, your cycle, your choices if IVF is part of your journey. You will also be more able to advocate for yourself, and this can make a huge difference! Creating a fertility team is incredibly valuable, a Natural Fertility Specialist; a Counsellor, Psychologist or Kinesiologist, an Acupuncturist and a Fertility Specialist all play different roles on your way to baby. 6. Begin a Morning Ritual If you can intentionally start your day feeling relaxed and positive you can influence the way you feel for the whole day. Committing to a mindset reset every morning doesn’t need to take a long time or add another cost to your baby making efforts. Try a combination that feels right to you, it could include mindfulness, breathwork, visualisation, journaling or movement meditation – eg walking or yoga. 20 minutes daily may be all you need! I hope you’ll find something from this post to integrate into you day to help you boost your fertility resilience. Sending you strength, courage and perseverance on your way to your dream, you’ve got this! Know I’m here for you if need support. Babydust, Natalie x PS. If you're journey to baby is taking longer than you ever expected and you're ready to receive journey-tested support, then now is a good time to grab my IVF Success System. I'm receiving so many happy emails from course participants! They're sharing good news in their cycles after receiving the support and making the changes I suggest in the course!